All too often a significant amount of people's anxiety, problems and stress stem from two simple words: "What if?" For many people, "what if" is the most destructive two-word phrase in the English language.

Past-based "what if's" are regretful and punishing ("What if I had acted or chosen differently?"). Future-focused "what if's" are either unrealistically wishful and idyllic ("What if I win the lottery?") or overly catastrophic ("What if I lose my job?"; "What if my spouse cheats on me?").

So how do you break out of the vicious cycle of "what if's?" Become more mindful.

Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on what is happening in the present moment. When you're mindful, you free yourself from being pre-occupied with thoughts about the past, concerns about the future, or getting caught up in opinions about what is going on in the present. You observe your thoughts and feelings without identifying with their contents or labeling them as good or bad.

You don't have to be an expert in mindfulness for this to work. Here are a few basic steps you can take to start, regardless of your experience level.

1. Take a deep breath

Stress—whether it's "what if"-based or not—triggers the body's instinctive 'fight or flight' response. Your heart rate increases, your muscles tense and your breathing becomes shallow. This automatic stress response also affects your judgment, often leading to reflex reactions rather than deliberate conscious decision-making.

The simple act of taking one or a few deep breaths helps to break you out of your "what if"-induced panic mode. It increases the supply of oxygen to your brain so that you can think more clearly and consciously evaluate your thoughts and circumstances in a rational manner.

2. Change your questions from "what if?" to "what is?"

"What if?" keeps your mind rooted in either the past or the future—neither of which have any substance in real time. Asking, "What is?" brings your awareness back to the present. This empowers you with the insight to recognize the situation for what it is: an aberration wholly created by and existing only in your mind.

3. Assess the probability

If you're dealing with a future-based "what if", it's easy to get caught up in extreme scenarios. This sort of 'catastrophizing' can be compared to being supplanted into an Armageddon-style Hollywood blockbuster.

A quick and effective way to diffuse this is to ask yourself, "How likely is it that this will occur?" Sure, there may be some possibility, but in many cases the probability is so small that there is little reason for you to become so emotionally invested in it actually transpiring.

4. Ask yourself, "What can I do about it now?"

Worry breeds inaction, which in turn breeds doubt and fear. Identifying whether there is something you can do to alter course can release you from worrying about the "what if" scenarios you have created.

Taking action frees you from the passivity of the incessant ruminating and festering associated with "what if's" and empowers you by putting you into an active role. It allows you to step out of the muck and the mire of the stressful situation you envision and gives you direction and the ability to focus on what you can do now to prevent or change the outcome.

5, Accept what you cannot change

A circumstance that is out of your control and for which there is no action that you can take can be particularly frustrating. Why? Because admitting that there is nothing you can do can lead to a sense of helplessness.

It's like getting your car stuck in the mud and you can't get any traction to get out. Every time you hit the gas pedal, all you end up doing is spinning your wheels. The more you try to move forward, the deeper you dig yourself in.

Struggling with things that are out of your control only serves to expend your energy and drain you emotionally with nothing to show for it. As challenging as it can be to accept that there is nothing you can do, the act of acceptance allows you to redirect all that wasted time and energy to areas of your life where you are able to have an effect and make a difference.

Mindfully Moving Forward

The past has already happened, and the future isn’t here yet. The only place that you can take action and effect change in your life is in the present.

Releasing the "what if's" and staying present-focused allows you to achieve a greater level of mental and emotional clarity. This clarity leads to a healthier mindset, better decision-making and enhanced confidence in your choices and actions.

Mindfulness is the tool to help you clear away the mental and emotional interference, see things for what they are and identify what you can do now to alter the course you have been on in order to create the life you want for yourself as you move forward.